Reminder, Reflection, Reaction

Two weeks into senior year, the final round, and... quite a bit of unexpected reminders of the past bled into the present. To say the least, they made me question my moral compass, my belief in the good in people. They made me question how many more bullets have to be aimed at me for the world to see there's only so much fire I can take before I am exhausted, mentally, physically, and emotionally. I ended up crying but not because these moments happened but because I was trying so hard to figure out what I have to learn, what I should take away from these marks in my life. I took a walk on campus and ended at my favorite place, Wall Gazing Gallery. Some reason, being around water calms and relaxes me, even if this time the water was not falling from the roof of the structure. Seeing the water move was enough for me, to find some peace in all this madness.

I think I figured it out what these moments wanted to teach me, at least at this stage of my life.

There are going to be so many reminders in your life that you may or immensely want to escape from. But life has a funny way of doing, as it keeps bringing signs or reminders into your life that you want to leave behind in the past, to close that chapter for good. Those reminders actually help you grow even when it feels like you're walking backwards into your history all over again. They are to keep you moving, to make you face those moments again. They are to make you deal with the pain they once gave you. Now, how are you going to react to those reminders? Are you going to face them head on or divert until the next time you encounter it?

As much as a person wants to leave the past behind, the past finds its way back at some point in time, bringing all the feels, pain, anxiety back in. Your past wants to keep teaching you on how to react and reflect on those moments in your previous chapters until you have learned everything you need from them. They aren't here to suffocate you, to tear you down. They are back in your life to encourage you to learn from them and to overcome. Create YOUR own peace from them. But remember, peace comes in waves, everything comes in waves. The peace you find one day may not work the next time you encounter your past, that reminder, that sign. That is okay. You will find another peace that works for you each time.

Just remember, each reminder, sign that brings you back to the past, that keeps you tied to the past, is only back because it hasn't finished teaching you all that you need to learn from it. You will find the peace needed in each moment of your past that comes back into your life.

To Change

Change in inevitable. A co-worker once told me, "everything is temporary, nothing is permanent." This is so true. One minute a person can be sad. The next minute the person can be happy. There is a beauty and ugly in change. No one likes change, but change is happening all around, whether we like it or not. The truth is, instead of being opposed to change, we need to welcome it.

It can be scary to accept change. Letting go of our familiarity or even letting go of what we thought could be. If we don't bring in the change as change occurs, we actually prevent ourselves from moving forward, holding on and being stuck in the past. By welcoming change in, we allow ourselves to explore what is meant to be for us.

Change doesn't have to happen in an instant. Rather, accept change, allow it to gradually come into your life. It also allows us to start anew. To start fresh in any capacity/form it takes. Just like clouds. Every second, the clouds are changing their shapes causing each person to see different forms in the sky.

Take that deep breath. It's the first of September. First day of the month. To new beginnings. To do things differently. To change.

Summer 2019 Is California Dreaming

The title of this post says it all. This summer is truly "California Dreaming." Landing myself this summer at Greenway Arts Alliance (GAA), in the department, Greenway Court Theatre (GCT), as a producing intern had been a beautiful, beautiful dream. But to get HERE wasn't as beautiful as you may think...

Surrounded by peers full of talent and accomplishments, I was feeling a bit defeated when I applied and reached out to a number of different internship positions in California and did not hear back from them at all. I began to question how will I gain the knowledge and experience I needed if no one took a chance on me. I kept reassuring myself with positive thoughts and that my time will come. But of course, the worries and fears always crept in. It was weeks later when a tiny speck of hope peeked through; I got an interview at GAA. Two weeks later, I received the offer of the producing intern position, along with the words, "your business background and passion for the arts and community would be a great fit." These words alone meant so much to me. Throughout my undergraduate college career thus far, I have come across so many individuals who did not see how business and creativity fit together. Each one questioned why a person who is interested in the entertainment world of theatre, tv, and film be a business major. It was upon seeing those words upon my screen, staring at me, that I knew that someday, what I do will be understood. That someday was May 13.

This full-time ten-week internship was full of growing, learning, and continuous self-discovery I will never forget. As a producing intern, I learned so much that goes into putting on a production in a non-profit theatre. It was incredible to see what I learned in my business classes in a real-world setting and put the skills I learned into action. I was able to do the best of both worlds theatre: the business aspect and the creative/production aspect. It allowed me to immerse myself in the theatre world, where my passion for production began. Being a part of the pre-production stage, whether it was creating marketing plans for the productions for the 19/20 season, doing community outreach, assisting in casting auditions, and drafting various contracts and agreements, was beyond what I could imagine. Seeing the building blocks of each production and how much theatre affects and connects people in a lasting way different from film and television was quite something.

It took this summer internship to make me realize how much art has been a part of my life. Early on, it's been there when I needed it, whether to get through the tough times to understanding myself better. It's crazy how everything I do, from my past to my present has always been related to art in some form of fashion its in and much more. The beauty of it is it comes in so many different forms, allowing each one of us to be artists even when we don't realize it. Bakers, architectures, writers, producers, accountants, and scientists are all artists, among many others. Art can be found in every facet of life and community. For me, I know art will always be in my life, be my escape, and be my future. 

I want to thank GAA for being my second home in the summer. So grateful for all the wonderful people I’ve met throughout this internship and all the memories and stories I’ll keep with me for a lifetime. Big shout out and big thanks to Los Angeles County Department of Arts and Culture for giving foster and adoptive youth and undergraduate students the opportunity to experience full-time 10 week internships in non-profit arts organizations. Honored to be a part of 203 LACDAC Interns, Class of 2019. A bigger shout out to my family for putting up with my new schedule this summer. My family is my biggest support system and I am honestly don't know what I do without them, always believing in me. 

The reason I want to share this story with you all is that there will be so many times in life that will knock you down. I want you to know YOU are not alone on this. It's a journey every single person goes through, just differently. Keep doing what you are doing and know things will work out on their own. Always believe and always dream your wildest of dreams. 

June Adventures Recap

Two months and nine days ago, I started my internship at Greenway Arts Alliance. I can't believe it's almost over in just one week. So much learning and growth along the way. Stay tuned to that post in this coming week!

It's been a whirlwind two months with my internship, writing, more writing, and learning what it's like to be having a full-time internship (job in a sense) with the commuter life. BUT definitely still trying to juggle family and friends time too! And of course blogging! Still a bit behind in blogging but trying to do at least one post each week and I have to say, it's been going well so far. Woot woot!

Greenway Court Theatre

During my week off from work, I caught up with friends and hanged out with my dear mumsy.

June 14: I spent the day with my bestie, Kim, at Kang Ho Dong Baekjeong. We caught up on college life and life in general while eating radish kimchi cold noodles and prime beef belly. It was good! The cold noodles wasn't too spicy and the beef was great with the cheesy corn, eggs, and sauce that went with it.

June 15: With eggs on our minds, my sister and I went to The Benediction by Toast for brunch and ordered the Crem Brûlée Crunch and House Benedict. It was perfect: one sweet and one savory. The french toast tasted like a creme brûlée, with the cinnamon, chocolate, and the crisp. The eggs benedict were delicious. It was a combination of hickory smoked bacon, avocado, poached eggs, and hollandaise sauce. A perfect amount of savory for me. As for our side for the eggs benedict, we got the hashbrown chips. They were so good! They were like mini versions of fries but in a chip form! Some had more potato in it, so some were soft and some were crispy. Just like fries! Definitely a great sister date!

June 17: Caught up with a high school friend, Colette, with my dear bestie at Uniboil. I must say the food was good at first but definitely did not corporate with me as I had several days of stomach aches. The conversation was great though, with exchanges of lots of college life stories! To top it off, we headed to Bubble Crush for drinks. I got the Roasted oolong milk tea with tiramisu puffcream. It was good! A great meet up and looking forward to more in the future!

June 18: I was still on my break from interning as my boss was still on vacation, so I decided to take a day trip to Hollywood again and get Korean soup at Sulga Jinju Got Tang House of Beef Soup! Been loving Korean soup. I got the organic beef bone broth brisket and my mom got the organic beef bone broth knee cap. They were amazing! The beef was tender and juicy. The soup was flavorful but clear and simple at the same time. I loved it. It's probably my favorite one of the Korean soup places I've been to. The service was amazing too! Definitely would come back!

June 26: Arts Summit day! Los Angeles County Department of Arts and Culture held an Arts Summit event for all the 203 interns of Class 2019. It was incredible to be able to meet other interns who were in the arts internship program. To hear the inspiring and encouraging words from so many was icing on the cake. It was amazing to hear their stories and their journeys and paths to where they are today. It made me feel so grateful to be part of this program and to be able to see how so many people are connected through art. Art has made a mark and lasting impression in all of our hearts in ways that beautiful and expressive. 

After the introduction speeches and two workshops, we were able to branch off to our peer groups and meet our peer group leader and peers who had similar interests to ourselves as each group was based on a theme. It was so nice to meet them and get to know them a little bit during lunch. Then we had three tours: the Broad, Colburn School, and Grand Performances. It was amazing to see art in so many forms, from artworks, to music, to spoken word. Art is so diverse and versatile. To end the day, we got to see a performance by a Cal Arts graduate, Miwa Matreyek. She presented her piece in a projected animation with shadow silhouette. It was incredible to see how so many different forms of art in a single performance. It was very experimental and surreal. 

To top off the day, my sister and I went to see The Farewell premiere as LACDAC offered free tickets and I was lucky enough to be one of the few. The movie was wonderful, funny, and beautiful. I laughed and cried. It was also incredible to see a story about an Asian family that can be relatable and hit home for so many in the feels. But of course, we had food beforehand to fill our tummies. We got the appetizer, takoyaki, tonkotsu ramen, and tsukemen ramen. The takoyaki was very fresh, hot, and soft. My tsukemen was something new to me, as it's a dipping style ramen. It was really good. The dipping sauce is somewhat similar to a gravy. I really liked how it wasn't too heavy. One of the best days this girl can have this summer. 

June 29: After a Wong Fu Warehouse Sale, in which my sister got three bears, we got lunch at Bonchon, ordering the Japchae and soy garlic fried chicken (drumsticks, wings, and strips). The Japchae was really good, very chewy and flavorful. The chicken was amazing. Very flavorful as well, crispy skin, and the meat was very tender and juicy. A very messy meal but two very satisfied tummies. After that, we stopped at Dot and Dough for malasadas (three earl grey, one matcha, one taro, one cappuccino, and one dark chocolate).

Pray For Those Lost in CA, TX, OH

Within one week, there were three shootings: California, Texas, and Ohio. My prayers go out to all those at the event of the incident, the families of those, and friends, among others. It gets sadder and sadder to read the news nowadays. Nowhere is safe. Be careful where you go, stay safe everyone! Cherish the people around you and the time you have. Each moment is precious. May all those lost rest in peace and those injured have a speedy recovery.